When to hold on and when to let go…

Any relationships you have require an investment of time, and most of all, emotional energy. Whether they’re romantic, family, friendships or work, each can experience their up’s and down’s over time. They can bring the highest highs, lowest lows, build our strengths and limitations, provide our greatest joys and deepest fears. But when it comes to a romantic relationship that brings challenges, when should you carry on and when should you call it day?

During the ‘honeymoon’ phase, most people try to put their ‘best’ person forward. However, not being real or being who we truly are only goes so far and lasts for so long. It’s simply not sustainable and sooner, rather than later, we begin to have a ‘real’ view of our partner, want to be exactly who we are, find out how they see us, and ultimately the relationship you’re both in.

Whether you’ve dated for a few months or been married for years, to help you make the right choice about staying in, or leaving a romantic relationship, you should always start by listening to your instincts and being completely honest with yourself about how you’re feeling. Ask yourself if you think the situation can be improved, or, have things reached a point where you can’t see a future together anymore?

Consider for a moment if these words describe your relationship and one that you want to remain in:

  • Excitement
  • Laughter
  • Energy
  • Respect
  • Love

Or, do you feel more drawn to these words to describe your relationship?

  • Blame
  • Judgment
  • Unhappy
  • Drained
  • Irritated

When you put an honest perspective on the way you’re feeling, the time you’ve felt that way, and if you’re still both on the same page working towards common goals, then you’re more likely to take the steps that work best for you and make the right decision when it comes to what you do next.

There are no ‘right’ choices or ‘quick’ fixes, and everyone’s relationship is different. However, we all deserve to be happy, we only get one life. So, always have front of mind that a relationship should nourish you. If it hasn’t done that for a long time and you’ve worked hard at your relationship but it isn’t giving you the joy and fulfilment you deserve, then that’s the time to consider whether you are ready to move on and begin a new chapter of your life or keep trying to make things work.

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