You’ve matched, you’ve connected, now it’s time to start talking. When it comes to meeting someone online, many people can find it hard to come up with a good conversation starter that takes a natural flow or are unsure of how to keep the conversation going. That’s why our blog this month looks at getting the conversation flowing so you can get to know someone before deciding to meet up.
In the best-case scenario, you hit it off and you’re never at a loss for what to talk about. Sometimes (realistically, most of the time), though, initial conversations can seem awkward. It can be hard to figure out what to ask without making it seem like you’re interviewing your potential match.
As an ice breaker, we tend to ask the same familiar questions to a potential match; Tell me a little bit about yourself. Where are you from? What do you like to do? Of course, we all turn to classic ice breakers in the beginning, but beyond that to keep things moving in the right direction, asking light-hearted queries, questions that provoke conversation, laughter, and thought, as well as questions that dig a bit deeper will help you to get to know someone and whether they’re right for you.
To start with, think about what interests you and then try to turn that into a question that is more about who you’re talking to. You’re trying to invite another person to reveal themselves to you, not complete a tick box list. Here are just a few thoughts to help avoid a simple ‘yes’ or ‘no’ answer, leaving you to think of more things to talk about and instead, finding out what you have in common:
- If you like to travel, instead of simply asking, ‘do you like to travel’ ask; ‘if you could get on a plane right now, where would you go?’
- If you want to know what kind of food they like, don’t ask what is their favourite, ask; what are the nicest restaurants you’ve eaten in and why?
- Rather than asking people what they like, ask; ‘what do you talk about the most to your friends?’
- To find out what they value the most in life, ask; ‘if you could give everyone just one piece of advice, what would it be?’
- Instead of being negative and asking what people they dislike, ask; ‘What do you feel people take for granted the most?
- Find out about their qualities without directly asking them, instead ask; ‘what’s the best compliment you’ve ever received?’
Once you’ve found a topic that you both have in common, spend some time finding out more. Remember, engaging questions encourage great conversation and will help you to get to know their personality and what they’re looking for more quickly.